Testimonials

Today I understood a step more of this life journey, and a layer deeper of the consciousness experienced in this particular body, and this understanding is effecting the long awaited healing of my lower back pain🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I haven’t been moving forward because I haven’t been looking up, I haven’t been listening to the messages from myself, the little voices, the intuition, and not even to those that came through loud and clear I have followed. And I didn’t understand I was not listening, I thought I didn’t hear them….And also, I felt lack of will, energy or distractions being there, but didn’t connect the dots. I knew theoretical how these block me from my higher self, but It is one thing to know things, but to know has gradations of understanding….I knew, but didn’t understand well enough to be empowered.

I can see and feel now more clearly that it has been up to now a cocktail of fear, anxiety and doubt holding me back from listening to myself. And those cooperated with the mechanism of control, among other less prominent gatekeepers to my consciousness. They held me in their patterns, first it was out in the open of my thoughts and feelings, then w couple of years ago it gradually went away from the surface consciousness, and I felt free from them, but they actually still were running the programs underneath the surface, and by that stil acting as the gatekeepers in a more subtle way known to me as “I don’t know” “it seems to me right and wrong is mixed up” “ how can I choose when I have no clear indication (from outside or inside)?” “ it isn’t a clear enough sign, I might be mistaken” “ I don’t see how this is possible” and others….This is now the past!!! I will act on what comes to me with discernment, asking myself if this is the way and correct myself if laziness or other shortcuts are suggested, then only check out other sources if necessary. I will for sure not any more stay in this grid lock of paralysis. Up to now I went fast or first to the outer sources of information which was not empowering me to act, rather draining me by keeping me in the pattern of doubt and uncertainty.

I do not actually think it is much about what I choose to do, but more about how I do things. A good example of this was the laziness Cornelius pointed to using the shoes without opening the shoe laces as an example….I did that last summer and knew i damaged the shoes 🙈I believe the learning is about these things, following the little voice that speaks in the feelings for what I choose and do, and which guides from there, the hunches, the intuition. This is now the way I will learn to trust and discern by regarding what and how to do….How can my consciousness have my back if I do not listen and act from this inner voice? I know the grace exists and can act when the letting go is total, but in my life this happened in the desperate situations. It must have an opposite positive trigger I can find? From listening to Cornelius, I believe he experience this trigger of the grace through trust, and unconditional surrender to his higher consciousness he has by default has connection with without an inner voice, and of course, he can ask also….

To those that read my previous post Named “This is too much…” about how I chose to give up on healing myself, I am again today put on the right track by the help of consciousness…healed as we call it. I am lying down on my back and feeling the healing happening, and l know what to do now to go forward.

I got the message to go to Himalaya in 2004…I a m in India, but in the south, and again more than a year ago again I got the message to go. Now this is finally happening , and In a few months you will see me in Dharamsala, Himshal Pradesh together with the Buddhist nuns, and hopefully I will be establishing and running a cafe or restaurant together with them. I will go there alone if nobody else are going there with me 💗